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Of Keys, and Outhouses, and Little Boy’s Prayers
“Mom!”, shouted my oldest son, his feet pounding louder as he neared the campsite, “Alex is locked in the outhouse!”
It was already that kind of camping trip. We had come a day early into the weekend. Our favorite campsite on the Platte River was just 5 minutes from Kevin’s job, so we had come in the night before, and he had left that morning to work as usual on Friday, so I was now alone with the kids – all seven of them – beside the lazy river in September.
It was not really a real campground, so much as an area with possible campsites along the river, with a single concession to camping comfort – a solid concrete block double outhouse set upon a rise, just high enough to be above the high water line during the spring flood season. There were several short roads, with a nice broad area at the end of each, suitable for tents, tables, and chairs. Typically one or two other campers were on our end of the area, and a few fishers at the other end. It was frequently used, but not highly populated. We loved camping there, being able to swim on and off through the day, floating the quarter mile stretch of river near our campsite, and listening to the soft sounds of the river at night, and waking to squirrels chattering and birds chirping in the morning.
Friday evening, before dinner, I had worked on some writing using my computer in the front seat of the car. We had gone into the river, wading and floating on tubes, and I had not wanted to lose my keys if they fell out of my pocket, so I had tucked the car keys under the front seat. And forgot them. And locked the car right before bed. Like good campers we had put all of the food in the trunk of the car prior to shutting down for the night. (This was Wyoming, so not locking the car during the day was not a big deal, but it needed locked at night.)
It was morning before we figured out that the keys were securely locked up under the seat of the car. We did not have a cell phone. The nearest residence was about a mile down the road. Town (and Kevin’s set of keys) was five miles away. Prayer was our only resource, so I gathered the kids around, and we had a prayer together. We explained that our keys were locked in the car, we were hungry, and had no food, and had no practical way of getting help to unlock the car, and we asked that we know what to do to get our keys out of the car.
We finished the prayer, and Sean (oldest boy) decided to go around and ask the other campers there if anyone could help. Maybe a cell phone, or something.
Sean returned with a helpful handyman with a slimjim. One of the three other campers there had the very tool we needed to be able to get into the car. He quickly opened the car for us, we thanked him profusely, and he left smiling to return to his campsite.
We knew that had to be divine intervention. It was too unusual to be coincidence. We gathered again to say a prayer of thanks.
A little later, as we got ready to do something together, our next to youngest child was nowhere to be found. We called her name, and received no answer. So we gathered again, and said a prayer, and then hollered some more. Within a few more hollers, she came out of the trees, and said she had been down by the river washing up, and didn’t think she was gone that long. It wasn’t misbehavior, it was just my daughter, trying to take care of something she felt was important. But the answer to the prayer stuck.
Now, as I hurried down the road and up the small hill to the outhouse, I was already considering how one extracts a small boy from a solid block structure. I already knew it had a heavy metal door, with hinge pins that could not be removed without a blowtorch. The door closed with a 3/4 inch square metal bar slide lock. Heavy, and difficult to move, even for an adult. Sean routinely accompanied Alex to the outhouse, and stood outside, but Alex did not lock the door. I guess his six year old sense of independence was coming to the fore, because this time he locked it, and had been required to give it a good hard shove to get it to slide into place. Hard enough to get it well and truly stuck.
Alex was not the average six year old. We knew things were not right, but could not get a doctor to acknowledge it. He did not have the strength to ride a bike fast enough to get the training wheels off the ground. His arms and legs were stick thin, with far less muscle than they should have had, and he had an obvious curvature to his shin bones, in spite of being well fed. So it wasn’t just a six year old boy stuck in that outhouse. It was one who lacked the physical strength to even begin to help himself. (He was later diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease, during treatment for Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia at the age of 7.)
I reached the outhouse, let Alex know I was there, and looked it over. One tiny vent, up at the peak of the roof. Not quite big enough to let someone else in, or a small boy out, assuming he could even get up that high without falling into the pit trying. No, not really an option. I had visions in my head of having to call Wyoming Game and Fish Department to have them come and dismantle the outhouse to get him out. Prospective newspaper headlines danced in my head for a few moments. I quickly realized that our only option, again, was prayer.
I told Alex that he would have to do it. That we needed to say a prayer together, and he needed to ask Heavenly Father to make him strong enough to move that bolt.
Alex said a prayer on his side, and I said one on my side. Then he grabbed that bolt and yanked. Nothing happened. “Try again!” I encouraged. He threw his weight behind it and tugged again.
“Mom!” he cried excitedly, “It moved!”
“Good! Try again!” I answered. Sean cheered him on in the background, telling him he could do it.
He tried again, and it moved another fraction of an inch. And again, and again, bit by bit he worked that bolt far enough over that it finally slid free with a solid clank.
Alex came out of the outhouse and gave me a hug, and together we said a prayer of thanks. There was no doubt that the Lord had truly given him the strength to move the lock, because Alex simply could not do it himself. Ever since that day, this has been my favorite “God answers little boy’s prayers” story. I must have told it at least 50 times.
It proved to me that our Heavenly Parents do indeed hear the prayers of harried mothers who lock their keys in their cars, or have a child go missing, and little boys locked in outhouses. I have also imagined their kindly amusement as they gave Alex the strength in his puny arms to move that great big stubborn bolt.
It was not until years later that I really put the whole thing together and realized that not only had God answered our prayers earlier that day, and Alex’s prayer later, but that there was a connection between the two. That the example earlier of my keys being locked in the car, and an unquestionable miracle in getting them out, and then and Betsy’s absence and return, had given Alex the confidence to know that God could indeed give him the strength to do what he knew he could not do. I can imagine Heavenly Father watching my son since we got to the river, with Alex eyeing that bolt every time he went to the bathroom, surely thinking, “Today, I MUST be big enough.”, and preparing my son for the disaster that was surely in the offing.
Locking my keys in my car had not just been a random event, it had been a vital part of delivering Alex from his smelly concrete prison later that same day. As to Betsy’s absence, I don’t want to encourage my kids to think going missing is a positive event, so I’ll not speculate where that falls, except that the prayer WAS answered.
God does indeed answer the prayers of little boys. Sometimes He starts answering them before little boys even know they are going to need help.
Someone suggested to me recently that their visions regarding my son’s fate, as they read this story for the first time, centered on wondering how one goes about taking care of a child locked in an outhouse, unable to get out. Pushing sandwiches through the vent, so he could grow strong enough to move that bolt.
And that sign in every outhouse… “Please do not put trash into the toilet, it is very difficult to remove.” No doubt. And little boys more so!
(A Forest Service worker has suggested that perhaps another sign in the outhouse could help. “Please do not lock your children in the outhouse, they are very difficult to remove.”)
THIS STORY and many more can be found on Amazon, for Kindle, in Laura’s storybook: A Little Romp Through Laura’s Storyland
I am the Bug
He told the story toward the end of Stake Conference. “One afternoon I went out and got in my car, and there was this big bug on the windshield. I didn’t want to make a mess with the wipers, so I decided to just start driving and see how long it took for it to be pushed off.
“I got onto the street, and that bug hung on. I went from the street to the highway, and it still hung on. I was starting to have some respect for that little bug. I got up to 55 miles per hour, and he was still hanging on – though he was kind of slowly shifting around. He got his head down and is back end up, so he was more aerodynamic.
“I got out onto the expressway and kept speeding up, finally up to 75 miles per hour. That bug was still hanging on.
“It suddenly occurred to me, that maybe he didn’t know what else to do. And I felt the Spirit tell me, ‘Slow down, and let the bug go.’ I thought that was weird. But it came again, “Slow down, and let him go.”
“So I pulled off to the side, and when I had slowed way down, the bug finally let go, and flew off.
“Some people are like that. Hanging on because they just don’t know what else to do, hoping for someone to rescue them, and they are TIRED.” He went on to make a point about helping others.
All I could think, with tears streaming down my face, is “I am the bug”. Hanging on for dear life, so tired I wonder sometimes if I can make it to the next day, just wishing things would slow down, that just ONE THING would get better, that something would change to give me hope. That somehow, a miracle would occur to make the whole unmanageable mess, somehow, manageable.
This is not about having a pity party. This is about depression. This is what it feels like to have depression. It may also be described as feeling like you are in a tunnel. Like all the color has gone out of the world. Like the laughter has somehow taken a vacation. Like all the effort to make things change for the better just does not help, and there just isn’t enough of you to keep up anymore. Like somehow the rules of life that used to apply, and seem to apply for everyone else just don’t apply to you anymore. Like God loves you, and COULD fix it, but you know He probably won’t. Life just hurts, and feels so heavy. Sometimes it hurts so much you don’t know how you can bear it for one more day.
From the outside it does not look like this. From the outside it looks like this person just grumbles a lot more than they used to. It looks like they have a bad attitude, and they may be more impatient and more angry. It looks like they are lazy and just not making an effort to help themselves. It looks like they’ve become more selfish. It looks like they do not appreciate your encouragement and good advice.
If you identify with either side of this – if you feel like you are the bug, then it is likely that depression is having an effect on you, or if you know someone who just doesn’t seem to be coping in the way you remember them doing, it is likely that they are under the weight of serious depression.
Now, we aren’t talking about “gee, I feel down today” when you have a crying jag due to PMS or something else. We are talking about something that goes on for more than a few months – almost when the person cannot remember the last time they had a good day, or a time when they had more good days than bad days. They feel like they’ve gone in and just can’t get back out. And it feels like it is their fault.
There are two types of depression – Situational, and Clinical. Situational is depression caused by a specific situation – loss, change, relationship problems, etc. Counseling, exercise, activities, and other strategies may help a lot with situational depression. Clinical depression is caused by changes in the chemistry or hormones in the body, and no matter how many “good things” you do to “fix it”, it simply may not respond with enough impact to pull out of the depression. Medication may be helpful with clinical depression, as may diet changes. Sunlight, and working in the dirt (seriously! bacteria in the dirt has a specific mood enhancing effect on the brain) may help either type of depression, but it may or may not be enough to turn things around.
It usually takes something outside themselves to break the pattern. Medication may be PART of the solution, but is rarely the whole thing. In some instances, medication makes little difference – it simply may not be appropriate for some individuals. Herbs may help – St. John’s Wort can help (though it will make you sensitive to the sun), and so can Borage Oil, or Lemon Balm. In either case, you can’t just tell someone with depression what to do to help themselves – they literally may not have the strength to make an appointment to get help, or go to the grocery store to get Borage Oil.
If you have a friend who seems to have depression, don’t try to tell them how to “fix” it. Ask them to go somewhere with you. Be patient if they say no, and ask again. Don’t be surprised if you ask what you can do, and they don’t know – be specific when asking them if they want you to help them with something. Bring them dinner now and again, and bring enough that they have leftovers. Let them know you care. And be patient with their discouraging mood. This is how they feel right now. It isn’t fun, and it isn’t nice to be around sometimes, but if you are patient, they have more hope of pulling out of it. Hugs help. Love helps. Not judging them helps. Helping them see the good in THEM helps.
Certainly, if you feel like hurting yourself, or someone else, you need to tell someone. And if your friend or family member expresses that kind of feeling, you need to call a Mental Health Crisis Center and ask what to do. Because someone may feel so much pain that they really can’t stand it any longer.
Depression can sneak up on anyone. No one is immune. In fact, most people will experience at least one serious depressive episode in their life, when it is the support and kindness of others that allows them to feel the love of the Lord enough to keep going. It is part of the opposition in life that allows us to recognize joy because of pain, and good because of bad. And it is one of our greatest opportunities to be the recipients of Christlike love from those around us, if they but choose to give it.
If we are on the outside looking in, this is a chance to BE the hands of Jesus Christ. To give true charity – “the pure love of Christ”. You may not be able to slow down the car and let them off. But you can cover their hands with yours, and “lift up the hands that hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees”.
Today, I am the bug. Tomorrow, you might be. Together, we are all strong enough to hang on.
Using Milk Kefir Grains Day to Day
Kefir grains are both a blessing, and a burden. They provide you with healthy, microbe rich milk products every day, but they also take daily care, and daily “feeding”. You have to keep milk in supply, and be there to refresh it every day, as a general rule. Sure, you can skip a day now and then, but things go wrong if you make a habit of it! You can also store them in several ways for longer periods of time, but again, things go wrong if you get sloppy about it.
If you’ve been considering getting Milk Kefir Grains, and aren’t sure what it will mean in a day to day routine, this post is meant to give you a picture.
I started with two tablespoons of fresh grains, mailed to me. So they had spent three days in a starved state by the time I got them, which means they may take a few days to re-balance. I promptly stuck them in about two cups of milk and left them on the top of the fridge to incubate.
By the next evening the milk was separated, and the jar spewed on me when I opened it – there was a lot of pressure built up in the jar (I had checked it earlier in the day and it was not set – it seemed to set and go explosive all of a sudden!). The grains were floating at the top of the jar (a good sign), so it looked like the grains were healthy and responsible for the culturing of the milk.
The milk did not smell quite right for kefir – it did not smell disgusting or anything, but it wasn’t right for kefir, so I discarded it and replaced it. I also rinsed the grains in milk – the only time I did that, normally I do not do that. I did it this time just to help them get back in balance, by removing some of the imbalanced bacteria and yeasts from the outside. I put another two cups of milk in with the grains, and set them back up on the fridge.
The next morning, I checked it and it was set, so I opened it and smelled. It smelled better, so I dumped it in the strainer, over a bowl, and tapped the strainer until nothing was left but the grains and some curds and milk slime (yes, it is slimy if the grains are healthy). This time I kept the kefir – I dumped it into a larger bottle, added about another two quarts of milk, and left that on the counter to culture overnight.
Meanwhile, I washed my original jar and lid, returned the grains to the jar, filled to two cups of milk, shook it, and left it to incubate again.
The next morning both jars were set nicely. I noticed that kefir made with pasteurized milk has more of a sour milk smell than kefir made with raw milk (which smells more buttermilk-yogurty than sour-yogurty). I drained the kefir for the day, washed the small jar, added the grains back, filled to two cups with milk, and set it back to incubate. This is now part of my daily routine. We also have kefir every morning, mixed with juice – about half a cup of kefir, and about 2/3 of a cup of juice, stirred together (it stirs weird, because of the stringiness of the kefir, but does eventually blend smooth just by stirring with a spoon in the cup).
The second larger jar of kefir was dumped into a strainer that was lined with a woven dishcloth (not a towel – a smoother, large dishcloth). I left it to set for several hours, then checked it. The solids were firming up, and the clear whey was collecting below. The edges and bottom of the solids were dry enough to separate easily from the cloth (they are sticky at first, but as the whey drains they get dryer and pull easily away from the cloth). I pulled the edges into the middle so the runnier stuff in the middle could go to the edges and drain better. I let it set for another few hours.
By evening, I had about a pint and a half of whey, and two cups of solids that tasted like a slightly sharp cream cheese. The consistency was the same as cream cheese at room temp. I rounded it up into a ball inside the cloth, squeezed it gently (not too hard, or the solids will get stuck in the cloth and it won’t release easily) to get the last bits of whey out that were easy to get out. I now had a partial ball of cheese – the bottom that was against the cloth was smooth and rounded, the top more rough and crumbly looking. So I took a small bowl and turned it upside-down on the ball, and then flipped it, and peeled off the cloth. This left me with a very nice looking rounded white cheese, neatly in the bowl.
The whey went into a separate container, and into the fridge, where we use it as a moistening liquid in various recipes.
That night, I added some seasoning to part of the cheese, and we had it on toasted homemade bread. I used the rest of it several days later, stirred into potato soup, and taco soup, where it added a delightful tang.
The next day I noticed that the kefir was starting to be mostly set by evening, and very hard set by morning. This means the grains are growing and are culturing the milk faster. The solution is to add more milk, until I have enough grains to separate off. Temperatures in our home are moderately warm, it is a warm spring in Oklahoma, which also makes them culture more quickly. I upped the milk to about two and a half cups. I could see we were growing out of our little not-quite-quart jar. I also got some quart containers to use with the kefir.
By this time I was getting a solid two cups of kefir (you lose just a little due to the volume of the grains in the container, and due to what sticks to the bowl and strainer). We are using between 1 and 2 cups per day, so overall, it is increasing slowly in the fridge. The new stuff goes in the back, the older stuff to the front.
After several more days, the kefir is needing more milk again. So we move up to a Ball half gallon canning jar – room to grow! We increase the milk to the four cup mark, and it cultures nicely in 24 hours – I can see that we are going to have to increase that soon as well. It looks like I’ll be able to separate the grains in about a week. I can’t really SEE that they are growing yet – it is hard to tell whether I am putting back 2 or 3 tablespoons. But I can see how they culture the milk, and I can tell by the amount of milk they are culturing that they are growing.
We are now getting just shy of 1 quart per day of cultured milk. I have had the grains for just two weeks.
When I get two quarts of surplus, in addition to the partial that we are using from in the front, I make cheese again. The second time I made cheese I let it sit overnight, and it ended up the same firmer consistency as cream cheese – I got about 1 lb of soft cheese from two quarts of kefir. The flavor still has a sour edge to it, because of the milk (when we did this using raw milk in Texas, it did not have that sour flavor, so I am sure it is the pasteurized milk that does it). But it is not nasty, and it takes various seasonings well.
The next round of cheese will be a cooked, pressed cheese. There are many types of cheese that can be made from kefir. I am already decreasing the amount of cheese that I buy.
So how will I keep this going? How will I keep enough milk to keep the grains happy? At this rate, they are doubling their culturing volume about once a week. That is a lot of milk potential!
The grains will be ready to split soon. At that time, I’ll preserve some for backup. I’ll also start making them available to other people. A quart a day seems to be a good amount right now, to make sufficient kefir and cheese.
One of the issues with kefir that people worry about is the daily maintenance. It takes literally 5 minutes a day to drain the grains, wash the jar, return the grains to the jar and refill with milk, shake, and place them to culture, and then pour the kefir into a container and pop it into the fridge.
Making soft drained cheese is also easy – 2 minutes to set it up to drain. 2 minutes in the middle to adjust it to drain better. 2 minutes at the end to package the cheese. 3-4 minutes to wash the cloth (I do it by hand in the sink with a little dishwashing detergent, and remove any sticky cheese by rubbing the cloth against itself).
I made ranch dressing a few days ago from mayonnaise and kefir – but I can also make it just from kefir, by using some of the thicker cream cheese style kefir, blended with some fresh. The ranch dressing was really good. It is usable in place of milk, yogurt, sour cream, cream cheese, soft cheese, cottage cheese, and many other dairy ingredients. It takes about 1 minute to toss the ingredients for Ranch into kefir or cheese and stir it up. It stores well, so you can make up a cup or so at a time and use it slowly if you want.
The hardest thing is keeping a steady supply of milk. But once that problem is solved, I am loving having the kefir every day, and loving having a steady supply of cheese starter just right there. It just builds up naturally, takes no special effort on my part, and I just drain it out when I have enough.
I’m all about easy. I’ll do the hard work when that is the only way to get things done, but if I can work out a simpler way, I always will. Kefir has ended up being easy. And convenient in ways I had not thought it would.
Letting Pandora Out of the Box
Guest post by Kevin (Laura’s husband)
I grew up with a strong foundation in music. I played in band throughout junior high, high school, and college. I actually have a degree in Music Education. I love listening to music. At home, in the car, in the bathroom, where ever. Sometimes it drives my wife nuts. But silence, especially for a prolonged span of time, drives me nuts – unless I’m up in the woods. (I managed to survive a week up at Scout camp without a radio or iPod, and I’ve been up in the mountains hunting deer and elk. While working at Camp for a whole summer, we could watch movies on the computers, and listen to iTunes, so I had some respite from squirrel chitters and bird song.) I’ve been trying to tell my wife for years that I think better when music is playing. She is only recently realizing that I’ve got one of those anomalies in my brain that needs music to get it jump started. I’ve been trying to tell her that for years, but her brain works best in quiet, so her assumption was understandable.
I am always on the lookout for how to pump music from somewhere. A few weeks ago, I stumbled across a reference to the Pandora web site. “Free internet radio” it said. “Great!”, I said. On Pandora, you can create “radio stations” and it will pick “similar” tracks to what you originally put in. For instance, if you tell it Mozart, it will play Mozart, Beethoven, Chopin, and similar other artists. If you create another radio station and start it with Glenn Miller, you will hear Artie Shaw, Tommy Dorsey, and other Big Band leaders. Yes, it does contemporary too.
Laura and I like to play “spiritual” music during business hours. We work from home, and it keeps us in a better “frame of mind” towards each other, and the internet frustrations, if we have music playing. So I started a station using the name Janice Kapp Perry. For a while we got similar artists like April Meservey, Mindy Gledhill. But a couple of days ago, I was only half-way paying attention, and I definitely heard some Country music. I love country music, but I didn’t want it on that station. I looked, and saw that it was a semi-religious tune by Tracy Lawrence, so I marked that I liked it. Pretty soon, I kept hearing more Country artists. At first a couple of similarly “religious” tunes, but then we got a “drinking” song. I think there was some kind of mention of bar tramps, too. I marked it that I didn’t like it. Then Pandora started adding Enya and Sissel to my Religious radio station. I like the music these ladies produce, but I didn’t want it on my “spiritual” radio station. As a matter of fact, I had already created a station specifically for Sissel, Enya, Celtic Woman, and all of their other “New Age” sisters.
So I deleted my religious station, and tried to start over. I kept putting in names of the spiritual artists that I liked, but it wouldn’t start with those artists. It would immediately start playing Sissel or Enya. After several attempts I finally gave up.
What we think happened is that I had marked that I liked Sissel, Enya, Tracy Lawrence, Charlotte Church, Diamond Rio, and it wasn’t following the original parameters anymore. Pandora searches for similar “qualities” in artists, and makes it’s choices from there. You can only tell a computer so much before the limited qualities of brain-like function give up the pretense that it can handle anything that differs from the parameters that it’s been given.
On my Sissel Radio, I had marked a bunch of artists that I liked. On my Spiritual radio, I had marked artists that liked there. I had a radio station for Broadway musicals, and pretty soon Frank Sinatra and Nat King Cole started showing up there, because I had marked that I liked them on certain show tunes. But I think Pandora was getting confused, because my “parameters” didn’t fit it’s parameters. I expanded my choices because of my personal likes and dislikes. I was outside of Pandora’s box, and it was getting confused.
The point being that if you stick to Pandora’s pre-defined categories, then you and they will get along just fine.
The “Tumbs Up” and “Tumbs Down” buttons work just fine, when controlling what you want to hear on your radio station as a whole. But if you decide that you don’t want to hear “Boot Scoot Boogie” just after your cat died, and you give it a “Thumbs Down” then you will never hear it again.
One other negative. You can’t just “leave it alone”. I don’t know how long it takes for this feature to kick in. I have been seeing to other tasks in the house when Pandora decides to quit. If you don’t click on something every once in a while, the music will stop and you will get this window that asks if you are listening. If you click that you are still listening, it will keep going from where it left off.
I think that Pandora is a handy way to get radio over the internet, and have some degree over customization, but it needs more options for a listener to “truly” optimize their listening experience.
It will be interesting to see if Pandora’s options improve over the next few years, or if some “hot shot” company will come from out of no-where and pull the rug out from under them.
Finding a Product that Sells on a Shoestring
Finding a profitable niche is even more important when you are starting a business or new product line on a shoestring. You haven’t got time or money to waste, so you need to be able to determine in advance when you’ve got a hot item that will sell itself if people know about it.
It is not difficult to find suppliers who will give you a reasonable price on hundreds of an item at a time. It is much more difficult to find suppliers who will sell you two or ten at a time. Or one. At least, who will do so at a price you can afford to pay and still have room to make a profit. Expect to purchase for 50-75% of the resale price if you want to make a profit without running yourself into the ground. For many product types, that can be hard to find. For many of the product types that you can find at those prices, nobody wants them because they are saturated markets.
So how do you find products you can sell at a profit, that people actually want to buy? Well, there isn’t a simple answer, because each market area varies, but there are some ideas that can help you find what works within your arena.
- Make do. When you are looking for a new product, you probably won’t be able to go out and find a manufacturer to make something just for you. Find something that can be used in the same manner, and sell that instead, or something that you can easily modify. If you are smart about it, you can get by until you can afford to have something custom made. If there is competition in the market, you’ll have to offer a significantly lower price if yours has a built in inconvenience or detraction, but if you can still come out at a profit, there is a market niche for that.
- Simplify. Look for the simpler ways of doing things, not the complicated ways. If you make a thing, make sure you can do it fast enough to profit from it at the price you can sell it for. Make sure you can repeatedly get low cost materials to make it so the cost of production does not eat up your profits. Keep things as simple as you possibly can to start with. If something is too complex, brainstorm easier ways to do it. This is how inventions come about!
- Get creative. Don’t just look at what a product was designed to do. Look at how it can be used and niched to fill a need. There are actually a lot of raw products out there which can be adapted to various uses, and just by changing the label, you have a salable product without having to significantly remake the item. If you know a particular item might sell, think about how you can make it using existing low cost supplies. When searching for supplies, get creative in how you search, as well. Many supply items go by many names, and are classed under multiple categories. A polished round wooden piece with a hole in the middle may be classed as a “wooden wheel”, a “wood donut bead”, a “wooden circle”, or a “wood round”. It might be found on jewelry sites, toy making sites, craft sites, woodworking sites, or wholesale import parts supply sites.
- Dropship. Drop shipping means that the supplier ships it direct from their warehouse to your customer. Blind drop shipping means they put YOU as the reseller, not themselves. Either way can work, though if it is NOT blind drop shipped, you will need to note on your sales page that the item is “shipped direct from the manufacturer”. Finding drop shipping companies is NOT simple. People think they can source them by searching for “dropship merchandise” or something like that. Nope! That gets you a bunch of scam companies that have no unique product, who overcharge you, and who could care less about the success of your business. The best way to find drop ship companies is to go find a product you really like, or have a use for and know you can sell, and see if they drop ship. Many do that do not publish that fact. Many mom and pop companies will drop ship if you explain what you want, and many will go out of their way to blind drop ship for you as well. The rule is, find a drop shipper based on the PRODUCT search, not based on a search for drop shippers, if you want to find a good one. Remember, when you choose to drop ship, you lower your operational costs, you do not have to worry about carrying inventory, and you spend only a few minutes processing an order to make your profit. But you rely on the supply company for YOUR reputation. You also have to make sure you pass on accurate shipping costs, which can be difficult if you carry items from more than one supplier. It can be a good place to start when you are needing to get product moving on a shoestring.
- Be flexible. Many people get an idea in their heads, and if it does not work exactly how they wanted it to, they bail. So maybe you decide to sell 3 armed widgets, and all you get are requests for 4 armed widgets. If you can supply 4 armed widgets, and that is where the demand is, by all means, adjust your dream and go with what is needed! Don’t get so stuck on doing what you want that you forget to pay attention to what the customer wants. Most new businesses start out with different concepts than they end up with – because certain things you do not know until you try them, and when you do, it is only smart to learn and adapt, even if it doesn’t seem to be quite what you thought it would be. Follow the opportunities, and don’t get discouraged over the seeming failures – they aren’t failures, they are learning experiences.
- Try a new angle. There are more saturated markets out there than you can shake a stick at. Often the difference between being another of the numbers, and a wild success is the way in which you approach the product and marketing. Come at it from a fresh angle. Put a spin on it that makes it more desirable – most saturated markets are saturated because the item IS popular, there are just more people trying to capitalize on it than there are customers who want to buy from a new source. Humor, kindness, color, decoration, attitude. All of those things make the product YOU sell more desirable than the product someone else sells, even if it is functionally identical.
- Level the competitive field. When you are a small business trying to compete against a big business, you need to offer something desirable that they CANNOT offer. Look at the business model of the competitor. Find the weakness. Maybe they don’t have an easy way to contact a real person. Maybe they cater to a 20 something crowd, and ignore the older customers. Maybe they offer automated product delivery that could be personalized. Look for a thing that they can’t change without losing what makes them distinctive. Offer THAT along with the product. Your competition can’t touch that – and even if your store is not as professional looking as theirs, and even if your product is a little more inconvenient to get, if it meets the needs of people who are NOT being served by the big competitor(s), you’ve got a chance to grow around them.
- Add value. Sometimes if you can’t find a product to resell that you can get at a true wholesale price, you may be able to add value to it. It isn’t really that hard, it can be very simple. Sell it in a bundle, sell it with a decoration added, sell it with better instructions or personally accessible help. Add value somewhere that makes it worth paying more for, or which makes it a separate product type.
- Brainstorm. Get together in a group of business people – I don’t mean the ones that wear suits and think the only way to do business is according to the SBA. I mean other small business owners who have done similar shoestring startups. Make sure they are people who are following their dream – then you don’t have to worry about them sealing YOUR dream (you won’t want your competition in the brain trust, as a general rule). Discuss ways to improve value, niche a product, and source a wholesale product or drop-ship product. Often the synergy of two, three, or four people is enough to spark some ideas. Generally, they won’t tell you the thing you need to do to make your business work – but something they say will spark your creativity and help you get past a hurdle. There is great power in brainstorming.
You absolutely need to avoid selling products which are carried by every discount department store in the country. Nobody wants to buy those for the price you’d have to charge, plus shipping.
You’ve got to do better than that! And you can!
Our company is now offering Cottage Industry Consulting to help you get started right.
The Hen Who Laid Invisible Eggs
The spring sun smiled brightly on the farmyard, where about a dozen hens and one strutting rooster scratched at the ground, pecking up bits of grain, small stones, tender young weeds, and juicy worms and bugs. They especially loved the worms and bugs.
One especially fine looking hen would periodically stop and turn in the sunlight so the sun could catch the gold lacing design on her feathers. She knew her feathers glowed golden in the sunlight and she was very proud of them. She posed a great deal when the farmer’s wife came to feed the chickens and collect the eggs, and she particularly enjoyed the compliments that the farmer’s wife gave her each day.
“Aren’t you a fine one, then?” the farmer’s wife would say. “So fluffy and shiny looking!” She called her Goldie for the gleaming gold in her feathers.
The farmer’s wife had a soft spot for another hen also. This hen was a middle aged hen, who was anything but fluffy and gleaming. She was rather thin looking, with an unimpressive gray and white feathering. She stood very upright, with a neck that went straight up on one end, and a tail that went straight up on the other end. Her breed was known for outstanding egg production though, and over the last few seasons she had proven her worth by being the soonest in the spring to lay, the last in the fall to stop laying, and the most consistent layer in between. She also normally sat at least one clutch of eggs each year, bringing new chicks into the barnyard to replace the aging hens.
When the farmer’s wife noticed this hen start to get broody, she would leave her alone and let her hatch the clutch of eggs. A good farmer’s wife knows that chicks from a good egg layer are worth more than the eggs, and lets her sit a clutch now and again if she gets broody.
The farmer’s wife named the skinny hen “Fayoumi”, and talked to her each day as she passed by to feed the hens and gather the eggs. Sometimes she’d pick her up and smooth her feathers, and Fayoumi always let her.
If a farm has good egg layers, then they’ll get an egg from every hen at least part of the time. This is how they know that all the hens are laying. This year, the farmer’s wife kept waiting in the spring for all the hens to be laying. But she never gathered more than 11 eggs. One of the hens was not laying this year.
The farmer’s wife told her husband that she knew that Fayoumi was getting past her prime, and maybe she was not laying this year. She felt a little sad about it, because Fayoumi was one of her favorite hens, and she had been such a good layer. A successful farm just does not have room to feed a hen that does not lay eggs, and Fayoumi was just not attractive enough to sell as a pet. The farmer’s wife decided to wait and watch, and see if she could see for certain whether Fayoumi was still laying or not.
Every morning, Fayoumi woke with the sun. She quietly climbed into the nest box and laid her egg, then she covered it with straw before hopping down and leaving the henhouse. She’d go off to hunt and scratch for a few hours, then she’d find a shady spot for an afternoon nap during the heat of the day. After her nap, she’d busily scratch until dusk, when she’d skitter into the henhouse with the other hens to roost for the night.
Goldie followed a different schedule. Goldie liked to wake up later in the day. She’d stay on the night roost until noon, and then she’d hop down and wander sleepily out into the yard. She would scratch around for a few hours, always appearing at the feeder when the farmer’s wife fed the chickens in the evening.
Sometime during the afternoon, most of the hens would head, one by one, for the nest boxes to lay their eggs. There were five nest boxes, and they liked the middle ones best. Fayoumi laid her egg in a corner nest box, and the other hens did not like the corner. The hens would deposit an egg, and then cackle loudly to announce their accomplishment. The rooster would cluck proudly to claim his part in the job.
Goldie never went first. She always waited until the other hens had all been in. She’d climb into the nest box, sit there for a while, and cackle loudly. She’d climb out as the rooster cheered her on.
But Goldie never laid an egg. She did not know how, and she couldn’t do it. She would always pick a nest box with eggs already in it, so no one would ever know she did not lay an egg.
One day, Goldie went into the henhouse too early, and all of the nest boxes were full except the one in the corner. Goldie decided she’d hide there until the other hens left, and then she’d pretend to lay an egg. To her surprise, she found an egg, at the back of the nest box, under the straw! She waited a few minutes, then cackled happily, and she uncovered the egg and hopped down.
The next day, she checked the corner box again, and sure enough, there was an egg under the straw again. From that day on, she used the corner nest box, and simply uncovered Fayoumi’s egg, and claimed it as her own. Of course, she had no idea whose egg she was claiming.
Fayoumi knew though. She noticed Goldie’s fraud. Fayoumi now knew that Goldie could not lay an egg. She also knew that Goldie was claiming Fayoumi’s egg, and she was not happy about it. She knew it would not last though – fraud has a way of exposing itself.
Goldie was not happy either. She lived in fear that someone would notice that she was not able to lay an egg. This made her feel like she had to make herself look more important, and like unhappy people often do, she decided to make someone else look bad, so she could try to make herself look better. Fayoumi looked like an easy target – she was skinny and not so young anymore, and she was quiet. So Goldie started to insult Fayoumi.
“Look at that lazy chicken,” she would cluck in the afternoon. “What is she doing taking a nap in the middle of the day? She should be laying an egg! I’ll bet she can’t even lay an egg anymore!” Goldie insulted and criticized and meanmouthed Fayoumi worse every day.
Then one day, Fayoumi skipped her afternoon nap. Instead, she found a bush in the corner of the farmyard, and began scratching out a nest. It took a few days to get it just right, and Goldie started criticizing her about sneaking off to take a nap where no one could see.
On the fourth day after Fayoumi had started making her nest, she was nowhere to be found in the farmyard! She was not in the henhouse at night, and she was not scratching in the yard when Goldie was up! Goldie thought Fayoumi had just run away. Goldie smiled at that, because this was proof that she was right about Fayoumi all along!
That afternoon, Goldie sauntered proudly into the henhouse, ready to begin her daily ruse. She hopped up into the corner nest box, but there was no egg! Goldie shrugged and moved over to a middle nest with several eggs already in it and faked laying an egg there. When there was no egg in the corner the next day either, Goldie knew that Fayoumi had laid the eggs that she had claimed for so long.
The farmer’s wife wasn’t worried about Fayoumi, because she got up earlier in the morning than Goldie did! She saw what Goldie missed – she saw Fayoumi come out from under the bush each morning, and scratch for food, and then go back under the bush. The farmer’s wife smiled… she knew that Fayoumi had not stopped laying after all. But she still did not know who was not laying.
The fair was coming, and the Farmer’s wife decided to enter Goldie in the fair. She was such a fine hen, she was sure to win a prize. Goldie was in the farmyard though, getting dusty and dirty as she scratched around each day. To win a prize, she’d need to be clean, so the farmer’s wife caught Goldie and put her in a small pen by herself. The pen was much cleaner than the dusty farmyard, and had a nest box in the corner. The farmer’s wife started her on special feed to make her look as pretty as possible. Goldie grew cleaner and sleeker every day. But the nest box in the pen never had an egg. The nest boxes in the henhouse had 10 eggs every day, and Goldie had none.
Goldie went to the fair, and won a blue ribbon. And then she went to the sale barn, where she was sold to a family who wanted a pet chicken, for $5 – they did not want to pay more for a chicken who could not lay eggs, even if she was so pretty. Goldie lived out her life in a back yard, with a bossy chicken who laid an egg every day except on the coldest days of winter, and who never let Goldie forget that she could not lay. The neighbor’s cat never attacked the chickens, but Goldie was always afraid that he just might.
A week after Goldie was sold, Fayoumi emerged from under the bush in the farmyard, with a clutch of eight fluffy chicks peeping loudly around her legs.
And the farmer’s wife smiled.
Moral: Fraud has a way of exposing itself, and faithfulness has its own reward.
THIS STORY and many more can be found on Amazon, for Kindle, in Laura’s storybook: A Little Romp Through Laura’s Storyland
Quick and Dirty Market Research for a Salable Product
You’ve got an idea, and you want to know if it will fly. Or you have heard that you can make money doing something, and you want to find out whether you actually CAN make money at it. This is the quick and dirty method of researching a market to find out of people are buying at a price from which you can make a profit.
1. Go to eBay, and do a search for your product. IMPORTANT… search Completed Auctions (under Advanced Search). That way you know what SOLD, not what people were dreaming it would sell for (either high, or low!). This tells you when a thing is so hot people want it at any price, and when a market is so overloaded that 90% of the auctions are unsold, and the other 10% are selling well below cost. eBay won’t work for everything – it is a flop for services so you can’t research them that way. They also forbid the sale of many things, so you’ll have to look elsewhere if they forbid the sale of the thing you need to research.
2. If you hit on a winner, where things are either selling well, or at least not selling badly, then do some more research. Go to Google, and find out what people are selling it for off eBay. eBay typically offers a skewed vision of the marketplace – ultra low prices for saturated markets, ultra high prices for hard to get items. Neither is a good guideline for how YOU should price your items. So find out the range that real people are selling the item for. This will also tell you how saturated the ordinary marketplace happens to be – if you have tons of shops out there, and the first page is littered with Amazon.com ads, then the item is well supplied online – which means you’ll have a lot of competition (not a reason not to dive in, but it will be potentially more difficult to get rolling). Get a good idea of the price range, and aim somewhere for the middle, or high middle – but make sure you can justify your price! If you charge high, make sure you’ve got a selling point that is wanted so bad that people feel it is worth the extra money.
Now, once you’ve done that, you have some numbers to work with. You have some important data that you can take to the calculator.
Figure the cost of materials or wholesale cost of the item.
Estimate or average the time it takes for you to produce an item you make yourself.
Do some math to figure profit per item, and see whether you can make enough to justify the time you put in.
Do two sets of calculations: One for eBay “liquidations” (to move product fast if you get in a situation where you need to move some out), and one for regular every day sales from a non-auction online presence. It is important that you do both of these, so you know whether you can move surplus through eBay or not, and how much it will cost you if you do. Remember that eBay does have some fees involved, so don’t forget to estimate that as well.
For some types of businesses, you need a customer when the product is ready. This is true of many perishable or live items. eBay may be a way to move some of them when you don’t have an established customer base, but you’ll usually get a lower price (often 50% or less).
If you are examining ways to make money, a little research before you dive in can tell you whether you are getting good info from someone who genuinely knows their stuff and really wants to help people earn, or whether you are just hearing hype and empty get rich quick promises from someone who is either unethical or ignorant (and the marketplace is DEFINITELY saturated with both of those!).
A little bit of homework can save you a lot of grief.
Best wishes as you venture forth!
Our company is now offering Cottage Industry Consulting, and a variety of market and marketing assessment services.
FaceBook’s Method is Bad for Advertisers
FaceBook shows ads in the sidebar, and the text ads have a little checkbox where you can tell the ad to go away. You can also give a reason, and choose to banish all of the ads from a specific advertiser. Or so it seems.
But the choices do not have the results you might expect. FB’s programming does not ever get smarter over time, it seems to be pretty stupid to start with. You’d think that if you select that something is offensive to you, or against your views, that they’d not show you similar things in the long term? You’d also think that if you repeatedly indicate that an entire category of advertising is uninteresting to you that eventually they’d show you other things? And you’d assume that since they have the capacity for smart ad display, that they’d show you more of what you actually click on, less of what you indicate as uninteresting?
Nope. Telling it to go away is temporary. You’ll often see it again in two or three days, often sooner. Banishing one dumb ad is often replaced by an identical one from a different advertiser. Both annoying, and really stupid, because it makes FB advertising FAR less effective than it could be. And it has a nasty backlash on the advertisers.
First of all, it means that FB is charging you to show your ad to people who have already said they are not interested. Often repeatedly. That is a waste of your advertising dollars.
Second, it is annoying the people to whom it is being shown. They already don’t like you. Irritating them further isn’t a smart PR move.
One of the problems is the manner in which FB determines ad relevance. Many advertisers do not understand how the ads are selected, so their ads go to EXACTLY the wrong sort of people. I’m a good example…
I am a marketer and web developer. I am also an instructional writer. I really don’t want to see ads for spammy marketing webinars and tacky “I can make you rich” online promoters. They not only leave me cold, their innate dishonesty and pushiness offends me. Showing me your ads is a waste of your money, and is only more likely to make me strengthen my efforts to teach people how to identify and avoid YOU. You really don’t want FB showing ME your ads!
If I indicate that I am a photographer, FB will show me ads from OTHER photographers! If I indicate that I design websites, they will show me ads from OTHER web designers!
This problem is two-fold. One is the fact that FB picks up keywords and matches them by the descriptions, hobbies, business pursuits and interests of the profile owner. The other is that most advertisers don’t understand that – so when they put in the keywords to DESCRIBE their ad relevance, it is matched with people who often are NOT their target market! A web designer should NOT put “web design” as a keyword for their ad! They should put “business owner”, or “jewelry designer”. They should put words that attract their target market, not their competitors.
Profile owners have no control over the bad interface. FB could care less what they think, after all, the service is free, and big enough that they think they are the 800 lb gorilla who can sit wherever he wants.
The advertisers, on the other hand, do have the power to change things. Money talks. If they start talking with their wallet, and complaining about ad relevance and ad preferences being ignored, and how that wastes their marketing money, then maybe FaceBook will condescend to listen.
It is already hard enough to be heard above the crowd on FaceBook, and promotion there really only helps a very small percentage of businesses who promote there (less than 1/20 of 1%. If you are actually spending money on ads there, then you need to know the limitations of the system, so you can avoid throwing money down a hole for months, trying to adjust the marketing to find what works, when it may not be possible for it to work for your target market. Understanding how it works helps you evaluate the potentials better to start with, and to make more effective adjustments early on, and to waste less money in the long run.
If you are in that 1/20 of 1% or less for whom it can work, it can be successful enough to justify the money you put in. If you aren’t, then it will suck money and not give anything in return.
That could change radically if FaceBook decided to get a clue and actually target ads, using the technology that they already have in a more effective way.
So Many Things to Not Write About
I just hate that feeling… That feeling of excitement like you have something important to say, but can’t for the life of you think what it might be!
I feel like that a lot when I’ve been busy learning something that I’ve not had a chance to test out yet. Also feel that way when personal things are happening in my life. But personal means they are not suitable for worldwide broadcast.
On the non-personal side, strawberries have taken up residence next to the pots of herbs and greens on the porch. They are, admittedly, small pots. But you do what you can.
The tomato plant is probably not coming back to life. The leaves have continued to blacken, and the tomatoes on it are ripening, but no new ones are appearing. Not a good sign. I think it was too far gone when I got it, cheap, on sale. But it came in a triple pot with basil and lemon thyme in the other sections. The basil and thyme are thriving, and the basil has an absolutely heavenly flavor and aroma. It was a terrific addition to last night’s soup. I’m gonna use some of that lemon thyme with some chicken – the thyme tastes like thyme with a lemony overtone. Smells wonderful too. So the pot was worth getting even if the tomato doesn’t make it.
I planted ginger too. This is a first. Summers here are warm enough for tropical plants. I put it in a 1 1/2 gallon pot. Mint is next on the list for potted plants – it is too aggressive to plant with abandon anyway.
Funny thing about farming. You set out to do it, get set back, and find that the desire and compulsion just won’t go away. We do what we can – we grow and raise what we are able in the circumstances we can’t change. If a thing is important, you keep trying as best you can, in spite of set-backs.
It makes me view things differently. Try different things, look at options I’d not be trying otherwise. I decided NOT to try raising snails, even though they can be quite lucrative. They are a regulatory nightmare. I avoid regulatory nightmares as much as possible, especially when accompanied by slimy things that I really don’t want to touch anyway! Someday, if we end up having an abundance of edible snails as a natural occurrence, I would seriously consider encouraging them and selling them. But otherwise, they are off my list.
The list does contain things now though which I had not considered before. No, I’m not going to give anything away at this point, you’ll just have to be eaten up by curiosity. We are testing out some options though, and preparing to test some more. There are more cheap options out there that take very little space than I thought there were!
So today I have nothing to say. I think I’m done saying it.
How to Afford Food Storage
Many people have the perception that a food storage has to be expensive, or that you have to do it all at once. They let themselves be overwhelmed by the prospect, and end up doing nothing. Achieving a functional food storage is an attainable goal by any family.
There is no “right way” to do it. There are a few wrong ways (like going into debt for it, or stocking up on ten year’s supply of Little Debbies), but there are enough right ways that one of them is bound to fit your situation.
1. Monthly budget. You can assign a certain amount per month to food storage. It need not be a huge amount. Even $10 a month will get you there in the long term, if you stock up on sale items. $25 to $50 per month will generally allow you to participate in a monthly plan through a food storage supply company.
2. Spend the same, buy more. Any time an item on your grocery list is on sale, add an extra if you can do so and still stay within the amount you intended to spend.
3. Shop less often. There is real magic in this! You’ll plan better, eat better, and spend less. If you spend the same, or split the savings (half in savings, half to food storage), and you’ll still be amazed at how quickly you accumulate a usable supply. The key to this one is that every time you go in the store, you usually lose a certain amount on impulse buys. If you reduce those impulse buys, you have that money for more important things.
4. The Two-Can Plan. Buy two extra cans of food every time you go shopping.
5. One Plus One. If you are purchasing dry packed food, grains or beans, or bucketed food storage, aim for ordering one item each time you go to the grocery store, or one item per month.
6. Food Storage On the Hoof. Get chickens, ducks, rabbits, or other animals that can eat your kitchen produce scraps and leftovers. You’ll still need some feed for them, but they’ll benefit from kitchen waste, and reduce your expenses, while providing a food source that replenishes itself, reducing the need for other kinds of food storage.
7. Grow a Garden, and Save Seed. You can grow a garden any time of the year, even if it is just sprouts in the kitchen – usually though, you can do way more than that! A garden reduces food costs if you do it smart, and gives you food reserves that keep producing. It can provide surplus to can, freeze, dry, or brine. It can provide seeds this year to grow next year. A good garden can be started for $100 or less (often WAY less), and can produce hundreds or even thousands of dollars worth of produce from that investment. Keep it simple, and make sure each expense really IS an investment.
8. Look for sales on produce, and preserve it. A $30 food dryer from Wal-Mart is sufficient to dry large volumes of food, one to two batches a day (as long as it has a fan, it will dry food quickly and efficiently). You can often find canning supplies at yard sales or being given away, and canning isn’t nearly as hard or as expensive as you think – Don’t Bother Buying a Waterbath Canner. Many foods freeze easily, and all you need are zip bags (some vegetables need to be blanched before freezing, but most fruits do not, and a large number of veggies don’t require it either). Dried or frozen foods may be stored in repurposed containers – peanut butter jars are a great storage container, as are other reusable containers.
9. Stock up on cheap storage items. Tuna, dried beans, rice, split peas, pork and beans, canned soup, and other items that cost less than $1 per item. It is easier to start with these items – either one or two at a time, or by the case. Easier to think of getting case goods when you know they’ll only cost you $12 for a case.
10. If you buy bulk grains in bags instead of in pre-packed buckets, you can significantly reduce the cost of acquiring bulk grains or beans. If you have 5 gallon buckets shipped, they’ll usually cost more than if you acquire them locally (feed stores usually carry them). Buckets can sometimes be obtained used, either free, or for a low cost, from fast food restaurants or bakeries.
You can’t do a food storage with no sacrifice. You have to give something. But if you think about what you can do, and what you are good at, you can find a way that works for you. It IS achievable.
Rebuttal to 50 Excuses for Not Preparing
In response to a list of 50 excuses posted here:
http://totalcollapse.com/2012/05/20/the-top-50-excuses-for-not-prepping/
- “The U.S. Economy Is The Greatest Economy On The Planet – There Is No Way That It Could Ever Collapse” The Greeks said the same thing of their country before it collapsed. The US Economy WAS the greatest economy on the planet – did you fail to notice when we lost our AAA credit rating? Did you fail to notice that we have record high unemployment rates (the real rates, not the skewed ones reported each quarter that leave out people who have stopped looking)? Did you fail to notice that the price of fuel (not just gasoline) and groceries are at all time highs and still rising?
- “Once Barack Obama Wins The Election Everything Will Be Better” Been there. Done that. It didn’t get better. If you throw gasoline on a fire instead of water, it isn’t going to put the fire out any better the second time you make the same mistake. (You can put your favorite democrat, libertarian, socialist, etc, into this one.)
- “Once Mitt Romney Wins The Election Everything Will Be Better” Mitt thinks the things Obama did for the economy (you know, the ones that escalated it into a rapidly worsening state?) were GOOD things. His can of gasoline is only a little smaller than Obama’s can – but it is still gasoline, and he doesn’t know how to find water. (Insert favorite Republican or Constitution Party candidate here.)
- “When Things Get Really Bad The Government Will Take Care Of Us” Things are really bad. The government made it worse. They have no plans to make it better – only to use the economy as an excuse to take away your liberty, under the guise of “helping you”. There aren’t enough government resources to go around in a major crisis. If there were, things would not BE really bad now, they’d have “fixed” it by throwing money at it. When the government does something, it takes 99 people being taxed at 50% to take care of ONE person. In a major crisis, the equation just doesn’t work!
- “When Disaster Strikes I Will Just Steal From Everyone Else That Has Been Busy Preparing” Preppers have guns. They also understand their Constitutional right to defend their home. They also have rope. Some have handcuffs. If they have to wait for the police to arrive, they are prepared to hold you until they get there.On the other hand, if you really are in need, and you ask nicely, chances are pretty much any prepared person will share a meal with you. They won’t do your job for you, and they won’t adopt you and let you be a sponge. But if your children are hungry, they usually won’t let them starve.
- “The Rapture Will Be At Any Moment So I Don’t Have To Worry About Prepping” I guess if your goal is to meet God, and the Rapture does not come when you expect, you can die of starvation and meet Him that way. Your choice. I’d rather use a little common sense and do what I can to take care of my own needs.
- “The Economy Has Always Recovered After Every Recession In The Past And This Time Will Be No Different” It takes 10 years average to recover from major economic depression, and that is when the government has NOT been meddling in a way that makes the eventual fallout far worse. Even if it took just 4-5 years, that’s a long time to survive without any reserves or backup.
- “The People That Are Running Things Are Very Highly Educated And They Know Exactly What They Are Doing” That’s true! But what YOU think they are doing and what they are ACTUALLY doing is two different things! They are not trying to “take care of you”. They are trying to get money and power. Yes, they do know exactly what they are doing. The less you prepare, the more power they have to take your liberty and limit your choices. I rather like freedom. I rather like independence. But by all means, believe that the people in charge are smart – if they can enslave you, they are smarter than you are, for certain!
- “Wal-Mart Will Always Be There” Have you ever seen a Wal-Mart that was THERE, but which wasn’t any good? I have. I’ve seen a Wal-Mart damaged by a tornado. Shut down, doors closed and locked through the whole emergency. I’ve seen a Wal-Mart with the power off – cash registers don’t function without power, and Wal-Mart clears the store of customers, and locks the doors until the power comes back on. Have you ever seen a Wal-Mart after the interstate highways have been closed for three days? I have! A Wal-Mart does you no good if there is nothing left on the shelves. And it takes about three days to completely clean out a Wal-Mart of everything useful in an emergency.
- “Our Politicians Are Watching Out For Our Best Interests” See number 8. Our Politicians are watching out for THEIR best interests.
- “The 2012 Apocalypse Is Almost Here And We Are All Doomed Anyway – So Why Even Try?” Because an Apocalypse doesn’t destroy everything. It just makes a mess of things, involves a lot of war, and leaves the majority of people to live through it and clean it up. You aren’t going to die tomorrow – you are going to live. Horribly! (Ok, so that is melodramatic… but seriously, doesn’t anyone know what an apocalypse really IS?)
- “Preppers Do Not Have A Positive Mental Attitude” We absolutely DO have a positive attitude. Preppers believe that if they do what they can, even if it is just a little, they can survive what they have to survive. BECAUSE they are as prepared as they realistically can be, they feel confident.
- “If An Economic Collapse Comes I Will Just Go On Welfare” Um… what part of “economic collapse” do you not understand? The government is broke. It is borrowing more than the entire US makes. It is the most likely CAUSE of an economic collapse. And it means that when it happens, there won’t be money for welfare. There WILL, however, be long long lines of unprepared people, standing around filling out applications for assistance, on the hope that there will be enough of nothing left by the time their application is processed, for them to get help that isn’t available. Because people who rely on the government to fix things would rather stand in a line to fill out an application (somehow filling out an application seems productive to them even when it isn’t), where there is no real hope of getting something, than go out and work to take care of themselves.
- “There Are Some Things You Just Can’t Prepare For” Right. But there are some things you CAN prepare for, and SHOULD prepare for. It just makes sense to prepare to depend upon yourself when you realistically can do so.
- “Prepping Is Too Expensive” One can at a time. If you stock up on sale, budget a small amount each month to invest in storage supplies, or shop less often so you spend more on core food items and less on impulse buys, you can painlessly build a good food storage over the course of a year or two. I do this, it really works.
- “We Are Not Like Other Countries – U.S. Cities Are Designed To Withstand Major Earthquakes” Just like San Francisco. Right? The earthquake in the 80s only caused damage to a few of the major roadways, and a small percentage of buildings (earthquake and fire damage). Only PART of the city was shut down. Only PART of the city was damaged severely enough to be eligible for Federal Disaster Relief Assistance (remember what that is? Only available in a MAJOR disaster? Only available if there is NOT an economic shutdown?).
- “I Need To Save Up For Retirement Instead” Food storage pays a better rate of return. Who says it has to be one or the other? A little here, and a little there accumulates quickly for either one.
- “The Stock Market Has Been Soaring So Why Worry?” Which stock market are you following again? What goes up, must go down!
- “I Don’t Have Room To Store Anything” Of course you do. You just don’t want to make the effort!
- “Prepping Is For Crazy People” So is Welfare. Prepping also goes by other names… Wisdom. Prudence. Security. Emergency Planning (that is the one the Government uses when it is THEIR idea). Pretty crazy alright!
- “I Don’t Believe In Conspiracy Theories” I don’t either. I do believe in the normal ups and downs of life, and I do believe in the lessons history teaches, and I do believe in basic math that says that 2 + 2 cannot equal 14 trillion, no matter how you cook the books (of course, there’s usually a conspiracy beneath that one, but it isn’t just theory).
- “All The Food I Store Is Going To Go Bad” Not if you eat it first. Good food storage is rotated regularly. This ensures that you are storing things you actually EAT, and it keeps you in the habit of regularly using and replacing it to keep it fresh.
- “I Would Rather Spend My Time Watching American Idol” Keepin’ your food storage around your waist, are you?
- “All The People Who Freaked Out About Y2K Look Really Foolish Now, Don’t They?” No. They are the ones who have not had to fear as grocery prices escalated. They are the ones who have made it through unemployment with less pain and hardship. They are the ones who still have their homes because they were able to use food storage to reduce their grocery budget and still have enough to pay their mortgage. They are the ones who have been able to cope with high fuel price spikes because they had something to fall back on to keep their monthly expenses within their incomes. Besides, you got all anxious and wondered what you’d do. They got busy and planned what they’d do, and they weren’t worried at all about Y2K.
- “I Don’t Want To Look Like Those Idiots On ‘Doomsday Preppers’” So don’t. Apply some common sense. Sometime within your lifetime, a food storage is going to be a major asset to you. So it makes sense to have a reasonable food storage. If you know what “overboard” looks like, don’t go there. Just be smart about preparing for what is most likely – unemployment, financial loss, snowstorm, electrical outage, etc. Those things DO happen. To everyone!
- “An EMP Attack Could Never Happen” Whether it could or not is not really the issue. Electrical outages DO happen, internet interruptions do occur, hard drives crash, and lightening strikes. Often enough that you are going to be inconvenienced for anywhere between a few hours, and a week or more at some point in your life. The more dependent we become on electronics, the more likely it is that something major WILL interrupt it, for short or long periods. But the realistic interruptions are more likely to be the same old thing that has always caused problems. If you are prepared to last the week without ordering pizza over the internet, you’ll get along better!
- “There Will Never Be A Nationwide Transportation Disruption In The United States” Perhaps not. But there are frequently local interruptions, which will inconvenience YOU just as much as if there was a nationwide interruption. Big things are scary, and horrifying to consider. But smaller local disturbances are the things that are not just LIKELY to occur, but pretty much GUARANTEED to occur. Most of the nation won’t even notice – but YOU will. And if you have food in your cupboards when everyone else is searching the empty shelves at Wal-Mart in desperation, you won’t regret your decision to plan ahead.
- “Instead Of Being So Paranoid, I Would Rather Just Enjoy Life” Paranoia is not required. Wisdom is. Life is far more enjoyable when you don’t need to fear, and preparing keeps you from fearing. No need to get caught up in the impractical race to prepare for EVERY eventuality. Just do what is REASONABLE, within your means and capacity.
- “If Society Falls Apart I Wouldn’t Want To Continue To Live Anyway” Congratulations. You don’t need to prepare for anything. In fact, you probably better commit suicide tomorrow, because society has been falling apart piece by piece all around you and you haven’t even noticed.
- “There Will Never Be Another World War” They said that after WWI. And Santa Clause is real too.
- “I’m Too Lazy To Grow A Garden” So don’t grow a garden. Or grow a Lazy Garden. There’s an amazing thing about gardening… It takes a lot less work and expense than most Gardening Books or Seed Catalogs will let on (after all, they want to make it seem complicated enough to justify a BOOK on the subject, and expensive enough to justify BUYING all that stuff). Gardening is also addictive – once you grow something, and it produces food you can eat, that you DON’T have to buy at the grocery store, you get a feeling you get from nothing else – not even from laying in front of the TV eating potato chips. If you can’t expand your life beyond the TV and Ruffles, you will be pitied. If you think maybe you’d like to feel really good about yourself though, try growing a tomato plant in a bucket, or put in some lettuce in a corner of your yard. There really is nothing quite like it. If you need more on successful, easy, and cheap gardening, you can find it at http://books.firelightheritagefarm.com
- “If You Assume The Worst Is Going To Happen Then You Don’t Believe In America” Preppers never assume the “worst” is going to happen. They do assume Bad Things will happen though. And you know what? They ALWAYS DO! Even in America! That’s life, folks! Preparing just means you are smart about knowing that the Constitution does not give us the right to “happiness”, only the “pursuit of happiness”. It is easier to be happy when the Bad Things that are LIKELY to happen don’t have the power to derail you, because you were already prepared to handle them. Besides, what defines America has always been individual independence. You can’t be independent if you expect the nation to provide all your needs and protect you from calamity.
- “Deficits Don’t Matter” The government in Greece tried to say the same thing… And if you don’t know what that means, then the government financial deficit is not the deficit you need to worry about – a deficit in intellect is a more pressing worry for you.
- “I’ll Always Be Able To Get A Job In My Field” Good luck with that. Farriers thought the same thing at the end of World War I. They did not see the automobile as a threat to their livelihood – after all, horses were still less expensive, friendlier, and more prevalent, and horses were still the only practical choice for farming. They could not have foreseen the increase in credit which allowed for the rapid adoption of tractors, and family auto acquisition. The job of farrier disappeared overnight. So have hundreds of other jobs as technology has advanced suddenly into new areas that were merely theoretical, and for which a pivotal breakthrough was not anticipated. There are a dozen new college grads coming into the job market for almost every position available, and the government is strongly encouraging students to get degrees in understaffed industries. With the economy so bad for hiring, many people have gone back to school, which means that we will be seeing a flood of new graduates in the job markets over the next few years, and the markets will get increasingly flooded over a period of 4-6 years. That’s your job they are going after, one way or another.
- “If There Is A Financial Collapse All Of My Debts Will Be Wiped Out So I Might As Well Live It Up Now” Funny thing about financial collapse. When your creditor goes under, their records don’t just evaporate. They go into collections. Very aggressive collections. When high numbers of people default, the credit companies do NOT get more compassionate, they get more ruthless.
- “If Things Hit The Fan I Will Just Go Move In With My Relatives Who Have Been Busy Prepping” Most preppers are willing to share when someone is truly in need. But if you aren’t really in need, or could have avoided being in need, they aren’t going to have much patience with you! They also tend to operate on the “no worky no eaty” philosophy. Your relatives won’t have any patience with a sponge. If they let you stay, they are going to make you muck out the barn, weed the gardens, and butcher chickens, so you might as well start getting in shape now.
- “Those That Believe That There Will Be Massive Riots In American Cities Someday Are Just Being Delusional” Pretty delusional to believe that what has already happened could happen again.
- “My Spouse Would Think That I Have Finally Lost It” Your spouse probably already does think you lost it, so what will it matter? And really… planning ahead is pretty stupid. If you come at your spouse with both barrels firing and mount an all on frontal assault on Truth, Justice, and the American Way, and start spouting conspiracy theories and doomsday prophecies, with a budget that takes all available reserves for the next 8 and a half years, then yeah, they’ll probably wanna lock you up. But that isn’t what it is about. If you explain that you’d like to have a little extra food on hand, and not have the cupboards running from shopping day to shopping day, so that there is enough on hand in case you or they get sick, or in case you experience an income interruption, or in case something stops the stores from stocking up on schedule (this is more common than people realize), then they just might listen!
- “I Don’t Know Where To Start” Start with things you use. An extra box or two of Mac and Cheese. A few extra pounds of burger in the freezer. A few extra cans of tuna and mushroom soup, or pork and beans. A couple of extra bags of rice. A great way to start is just by shopping less often. This forces you to think ahead on your needs, and reduces impulse buys, leaving room in your budget to buy extra of sale items.
- “I’ll Just Deal With Problems As They Arrive” That’s a good attitude for things you CAN’T see coming. But it doesn’t make sense for things you KNOW are coming. Think about your life, and the things you are very likely to have to deal with. Plan for those things. There will still be enough surprises in life to hone your capacity for impulsive coping!
- “I Don’t Have To Prepare For A Natural Disaster – That Is What FEMA Is For” FEMA takes three days to get help anywhere. That includes water. And FEMA takes weeks to get financial aid to an area in a way that benefits individuals. When they do come in, you get what they think you need. If you have special dietary requirements, forget it. Big disasters are all FEMA handles anyway, and you are more likely to experience small disasters that affect only yourself or a few other individuals. FEMA isn’t gonna help you, and most of the time, there won’t be other organizations there to help either. And if things get really bad (we ARE heading there), FEMA won’t BE there at all!
- “We’ll Never See Martial Law In The United States” We’ve already got it. What do you think Homeland Security really is? 2020 Update, forcing businesses to close and enforcing penalties on compliance for “advisory notices” is a form of marital law, and not only do Americans not SEE this, but when they do, they just group together and march right into the gas chambers.
- “I Don’t Want To Scare My Children” So don’t. Teach them the wisdom of intelligent and calm preparation. Teach them that when you have to get up very early for a field trip, that you make sure you have your socks and underwear clean and found the night before, and that you go to bed early so you don’t end up tired and half dressed in the morning when you really need to be getting out the door to make it on time. Teach them that when you have company coming for dinner at the end of the week, that you plan the menu early, get the shopping done, and prepare as much of the meal ahead as you can so you don’t get bogged down with prep chores when it is time to welcome the guests. Teach them that having extra on hand means you can feed unexpected guests without fuss, and that if Dad or Mom loses a job, that you won’t be hurting for food during the time between the last paycheck and the first unemployment check, and that the decrease in income won’t kill you because you have enough food on hand that at least you won’t starve. Not starving is a good thing. Not scary at all.
- “Once I Get Rid Of All My Debt Then I Will Start Thinking About Prepping” If you have food on hand, it is easier to get rid of debt, because you are not tied to having to choose between paying the bill or buying the full complement of groceries. Even a little extra on hand can make it easier to pay off debts. Try the shopping less often trick – you’ll be amazed at what that can accomplish!
- “My Relatives Already Think That I Am A Nut Job – I Don’t Need To Make It Any Worse” If they already think that, then you have nothing to lose!
- “If People At Work Find Out That I Am Prepping It Could Hurt My Career” Ummm… yeah. No employer likes an employee that actually thinks ahead! If you go all overboard and stockpile flamethrowers and grenade launchers, and stuff your mattresses with packets of soy protein powder and dried spinach, sure they are gonna question your fitness for duty. But they are unlikely to come and inspect your house for extra cans of pork and beans and Hormel chili!
- “If There Really Was A Good Reason To Prepare They Would Tell Us About It On The News” Sure, just like they told you about the rampant inflation, and about Obama signing the NDAA. Never mind that what they ARE telling you is reason enough to prepare.
- “People Have Been Predicting Doom And Gloom For Years And It Hasn’t Happened Yet” Yes it has. It just hasn’t happened to YOU in a way you identify. It isn’t doom and gloom that makes a person prepare. It is the certain knowledge that life has its ups and downs, and it is smart to prepare for the inevitable downs.
- “The United States Is The Greatest Nation On Earth – There Is No Way That It Could Collapse” See #33.
- “I Don’t Plan On Becoming A Card Carrying Member Of The Tin Foil Hat Brigade” Nobody who is ever planned to be. You get that way when life derails you and throws you so far off the track that you can’t find your way back. You are less likely to end up there if you DON’T prepare, than if you do! I’d hate to be left with nothing but tinfoil to wear because I had not been wise about planning ahead!
If you need more help with preparing in smart ways, check out our farm site at MicroFarmLife.com.
Good Thing There’s No Inflation
In the last six months, the cost of groceries has increased so much that it costs 1 and 1/2 to 2 times the amount to get the same groceries today that it did six months ago.
But there is no inflation. We know this because our government tells us this regularly. So… we know that something is wrong with HOW we are shopping. It is my responsibility to balance the grocery budget, and keep it from increasing.
I can reduce the amount of vegetables that I buy. At the rate that prices are increasing, this means in six weeks I will have no more money for vegetables at all. This is ok though – if our family has problems with muscle weakness, poor concentration, and persistent obesity, it won’t matter. This is expected from the average American, and conforming to the norm is better than being a radical non-conformist.
After I’ve eliminated vegetables, fruit is the next thing to be decreased. We will then develop problems with our bones, immune system, and eyesight, and our ability to heal will decline pretty rapidly. But that is ok too. If we are unemployable because of health problems we’ll no longer be listed on the lists of unemployed people, and that will help the nation, so we’ll be doing our part.
The next thing to go would be eggs and dairy. Of course, this will mean severe problems with our bones (we really don’t need calcium, we’ve been deluding ourselves all this time), and it won’t matter that eggs are one of the only foods from which I absorb certain nutrients. But dairy is expensive and prices are increasing very quickly, so obviously it is not essential to our wellbeing. The painful and persistent symptoms this causes can be mis-diagnosed by any competent physician, and they can prescribe a pill for us – the FDA has approved “safe and effective” medications for everything after all.
We’ll then have to eliminate meat. Protein is overrated anyway, and weak muscles, infertility, low energy, are GOOD things! There are too many healthy people having babies in the world anyway, and the human race is merely a blight on an otherwise perfect world, it is better that nobody reproduces. We can do without meat, the government already said so, and we know they are always right (even when they are wrong), so we should just shut up and trust them! If the symptoms become too difficult to deal with, we can get an anti-depressant easily from any doctor.
We’re down to grains now. Of course, without vegetables, fruits, dairy, and meats, our bodies will have NO ability to heal itself, and we’ll undoubtedly have plenty of digestive problems, further inhibiting our ability to absorb the incomplete nutrient complement from grains. We won’t be able to afford whole grains for long, so we’ll have to switch to white pasta and white flour, and white rice. Rapidly increasing prices mean that we’ll have to decrease the amounts over time, but that’s ok too, since America is full of obese people and everybody needs to eat less (the fact that a nutrient deficient diet from processed foods causes the body to go into crisis mode and creates persistent obesity is just a myth so don’t worry about that!). It doesn’t matter how healthy you think you are eating, it is still too much, too high in fat, and too high in red meat, sugar, and junk food. So eat the enriched white flour products that the government has said are just as healthy as whole wheat and shut up.
If we collapse from nutritional deficiency, Obamacare is there for us. They can prescribe medications to mask the symptoms and we can suffer from chronic illness until we die a painful death. If we die young, so much the better, there won’t be enough money to pay for our Social Security when we are older anyway, and it will save on medical costs in the long run. We’ll be doing our part to better the general welfare of the nation by kicking off sooner anyway.
So cheer up, America! There is no inflation! The rising prices are just a means of encouraging you to do your part to effect necessary change! And change must be good, after all, the President promised change, and we got it.
Good food, in a healthy variety, isn’t really needed, and malnutrition and the subsequent illness are positive influences on the nation!
Aren’t we blessed to live in a country with no inflation?
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