Researchers Announce Birth Control Breakthrough

Two researchers in an obscure town in the US have released a report in support of the only known 100% safe and effective method of contraception. This method is completely safe, has no uncontrollable side effects, is extremely affordable, and has been used successfully throughout every culture, society and historical period on record.

The method is known historically as “abstinence”. When used correctly, it is the only birth control method which provides 100% effectiveness. No other method, including sterilization, can make that claim, as all other methods can, and do fail, a certain percentage of the time. This method is also 100% effective in preventing STDs, and completely stops the sexual transmission of AIDS in all users – again, something that no other method of birth control can even come close to claiming.

Largely ignored by medical professionals, and pharmaceutical companies, this method has been actively ridiculed by pro-abortion factions. Their ridicule has been somewhat puzzling to researchers who have compared safety statistics, effectiveness rates, and mental stability statistics between groups who use abstinence, other forms of birth control, or who have chosen abortion. Abstinence is far safer for women, no woman has ever died due to overdose, or due to malpractice on the part of a careless professional. It cannot spread infection, is never practiced in unsanitary back alleys, and does not have risks of mechanical failure. Indeed, the use of abstinence, especially outside of marriage, has been shown to provide a wide range of health benefits. It can be understood by any person who is old enough to be able to define the parts of their body, and the vocabulary required to safely practice it is so simple even a two year old can master it. One simple word, “No” is all that is required.

This method is simple enough that any parent can teach it to their child. It can be taught in schools in a matter of a few minutes. Since there is no health risk attached to this method, training materials do not have to be cumbered down with lengthy and costly legal disclaimers. Training materials are simple, in-depth anatomical diagrams are not necessary to effective teaching. It can easily be taught without embarrassment in a co-ed teaching environment.

Abstinence is the most cost effective form of contraception. It is the only method of birth control which can be used absolutely free to the user and the public, and is able to be used effectively even among the poorest populations. Teens can use it without permission from their parents, since no prescription is required – given this easy access by every sexually mature individual, one would think that “pro-choice” advocates would be promoting this as a means for individuals to control their own reproductive health, but strangely, they prefer to press for public funding of prescriptions and abortions instead, both of which present significant risks and costs to individual users.

Abstinence is usually effective without any form of professional or mechanical assistance. For people who have difficulty properly implementing it, there are various assistive devices which may help, but which are in no way required. One can even use ordinary duct tape (a single wrap, around the knees) to help individuals who are having difficulty with proper implementation.

The single fault found by the researchers was the lack of major corporate profit potential. Because abstinence does not require a prescription, pharmaceutical companies do not stand to make money from promoting it. It does not require a medical procedure, so doctors are usually not enthusiastic about promoting abstinence either. The risk of damage from using is non-existent, as is the risk of contracting a disease or infection through the use of abstinence, so all secondary income streams which could potentially result from such “accidents” have been similarly removed as motive for pharmaceutical and medical professionals to promote abstinence. Since mental illness never results from the use of abstinence, and since individuals who practice it have higher than average self-esteem, the mental health industry has found little motive to promote abstinence as a desirable choice, and indeed, most mental health professionals are largely uneducated about abstinence, due to limited professional contact with indivuals using this method of birth control and reproductive health enhancement.

The findings of the researchers show conclusively that widespread implementation of this birth control method would increase both female and male reproductive and mental health, and eliminate all risks from dangerous drugs and surgical procedures related to unwanted pregnancies and STDs. It is the hope of the researchers that attention may be brought to this safe, healthy, effective, and affordable method of avoiding unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease.

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