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Nothing’s Broken, It’s Just Mayonnaise
Every time he put on the brakes he heard it. Thump, thump, thump. When he took off, it thumped again. This went on for several days. Sometimes it stops for a while, but then it resumes. Thump, thump, thump… thump.
He looked up under the chassis of his truck, where the noise was coming from, but there was no sign of anything. In fact, there WASN’T much of anything there, it was just behind the left front wheel. He thought maybe a torn mudflap or maybe a tire that was balding, though that didn’t quite sound right either. It doesn’t sound like the tie rod, but he’s worried that it might be something serious he knows nothing about and can’t SEE.
He’s a tough and independent guy. He doesn’t pay someone else for what he can do himself – only lately he is making enough money in his business that he doesn’t really have the TIME to do certain things. And he drives a lot of rough roads, often in isolated and lonely places, so that truck he drives just can’t be heading for a breakdown. He depends on it.
He finally takes it in. One morning on the way to work, very early, he notices that the VW shop (a guy he respects) is opened already. So he stops on impulse and finds the owner is in early. He asks him to take a look and see if he can find the cause of that noise.
The mechanic looks and looks. He can find nothing. The truck is up on the lift, and he’s searching hard, scratching his head every so often. He has test drove it already, he knows where the sound is. But nothing is there.
He takes it out again. He drives it around the block, starting and stopping, hurky jerky and spastic. He comes back around and he’s driving smooth and grinning.
The mechanic stops the truck right by where the man is waiting outside for it to come back. He gets out, and dives the top half of his body back into the car, his arm outstretched, feeling under the driver’s seat. He grasps something and triumphantly pulls it out and holds it up.
“Next time, take the mayonnaise jar out!” he says.
You see, the man fixes his lunch in the truck every day. He takes his food with him, but he often eats bread and meat with mayonnaise – not really a sandwich, just almost. And he often uses mayonnaise instead of butter. Just something he became accustomed to when he could afford mayonnaise and not butter.
One day about a year earlier, his mayonnaise jar disappeared during lunch. He could not find it to put it away. Figured it had probably fallen and rolled under the seat, no idea which side, and he’s busy getting ready to get back to work so he forgets. Gets a new jar and the old one ceases to exist.
Eventually it breaks loose. It’s got old mayo in there, and it rolls back and forth under the seat… Thump, thump, thump. Sometimes it gets jammed again and quits. Then it breaks loose again on it’s reign of terror… Thump, thump, thump… and sometimes Thump.
This is a cautionary tale in my family. Sometimes it is used metaphorically. “Nothing is wrong, it is probably just a mayonnaise jar.”
It never really IS anymore. Because we aren’t loggers, and we don’t fix our lunches in our cars. Except Dale. He might. But he’s up to speed on mayonnaise jars, so you can’t catch him with that one.
The Reason Your Stamps Cost More
The package began in Liberty MO. This is just 15 miles from the address on the box. It needs to go to the regional distribution center in Kansas City KS (only EIGHT miles away), and then to a small post office nearby.
Instead, it goes to St Paul, MN. More than 400 Miles off the route, and more than 800 miles round trip. Just so the package can go sight seeing, we presume. Over the next week and a half, it sits in St Paul, and finally makes its way to the Kansas City KS distribution center, and then to the destination.
Next, a package begins again in Liberty MO. Same required destination, and need to arrive at the Kansas City KS distribution center. Instead, it is sent to Colorado Springs, CO.
COLORADO! This time 450 miles out of the way, for a total of 900 miles round trip. More sight seeing.
There can be NO Justification for this. None whatever. This is just the employees and management of the Post Office trying to ensure job security by shipping packages all over instead of just getting them where they need to go.
The standard mileage rate for tax deductions is now SEVENTY CENTS per mile (almost the cost of a single stamp). Those two packages cost US, the Post Customers (this means you as well), over TWELVE HUNDRED DOLLARS!
Padding of hours is rampant also. A small post office is allowed 2 employees to get the mail out by 10:00 in the morning. ALL the mail is required to be out by that time. Then all but ONE employee must GO HOME. When the door to the counter closes, the other employee is supposed to go home – usually about 1:30 in the afternoon.
This never happens. Instead,between 3 and 4 employees clock in, and putter with the mail all morning. They then wait until the front door closes, and then they putter around lazily putting package notices in the boxes (they may send someone home, but this still requires at least TWO of them to waste this much time). So your package comes in, and they SIT ON IT until you CAN’T pick it up that day. They think you won’t ever notice.
WE NOTICE!
And instead of going home and getting OFF the clock, at least one employee stays on the clock until 5:00 (occasionally only 4:00), costing Post Office patrons additional hours that are fraudulent. ALL of the unnecessary clock hours are fraudulent. Criminal. And because this is the government they are representing in their fraud, it is TREASONOUS. (That is a capital crime, in case some of you forgot basic Constitutional Law. Mandatory Death Penalty.)
It is worse in larger post offices. They typically have twice the number of employees on the clock that they need to do the work. Often three times or more. When was the last time you saw someone hurry who worked for the Post Office?
This is more than just a rant. This is happening, right there in your own post office. And it COSTS you.
It doesn’t just cost you in delays – and delays ARE costly.
It costs you in money. The cost of stamps are rapidly heading for $1 each, and you can’t mail a package for less than $10 anymore.
Overstaffing is the FASTEST way to increase the cost of goods and services.
When you have people wandering around trying to fill time because there is not enough work to do, they get in trouble. Overstaffing is also the MOST EFFECTIVE way to INCREASE SHRINKAGE (that means theft, embezzlement, damage to goods, and other criminal losses). Too many people on the clock, and shrinkage EXPLODES. It soars to 30% or higher with twice the number of employees on the clock than what is actually needed (and we aren’t talking about the employees even being EFFICIENT, we are talking AVERAGE low bar employees just staying busy with actual work).
And the Post Office continues to tell us they cannot afford to carry a letter for $0.78. No wonder.
If you complain, they get nasty.
This is our mail, not theirs. They have a SOLEMN OBLIGATION to deliver the mail honestly, and swiftly. This is a CONSTITUTIONAL OBLIGATION. In case you do not understand that, this is the most serious legal standard in the U.S..
It is clear that this is not even ON THE RADAR for your average Post Office employee.
Off with their heads.
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